There is nothing but the present moment. The past is past. The future is not here yet.
Only now exists. The present is only what we make it – it is what we create through our actions.
Setting a goal is one of our ways as human beings of looking forward to the future and envisaging a better possibility. It is also a way to bring structure and meaning into our lives.
So, how can we give ourselves a better chance of achieving a goal?
My 18 years’ plus training and coaching martial arts and on my own experience with pursuing goals tell me the following are vital factors:
Have clearly defined and time bound goal. This is where a good goal-setting system is useful. My preferred ones are the SMART model and WOOP. When setting a goal we should not only imagine the beautiful future once we reach our goal, it is also vital to consider the challenges and obstacles we are likely to encounter and some strategies to overcome them.
Be clear on the “why” behind the goal. If we are guided by a purpose worthy enough, we are more likely to stick through the tough times. To discover this, we ask ourselves “why do I want to achieve this”? When we come to the answer, we ask why at least two more times. This way we might get closer to the real purpose behind our goal. It helps also to connect to the values that are guiding us in the pursuit of our outcome. This way the journey will be a reward in itself, irrespective of whether we reach the physical outcome.
Having a clear road map, yet being flexible. If we have a big bold goal, we may not necessarily be able to get there in one single leap. We might need to gather skills or resources. We most likely need to take smaller actions towards the bigger objective. We probably need to establish new habits of taking micro steps on a daily basis. Each day we should have both the bigger goal in mind and the interim steps – what are the actions we can take on a daily, weekly and monthly basis to get closer to our goal?
Having the awareness and tools to deal with the inner gremlins. Some of us tend to give too much importance to the inner critic, thinking that little voice is us and allowing it to dictate our actions. Just as with any other obstacles, we should be armed with strategies to deal with the inner sceptic and to do what matters irrespective of what the little voices say.
Allowing the past to determine the future. The future is often coloured by the past and the meanings we attribute to events of the past. Some of our past experiences leave lasting impressions (whether positive or negative), which we carry with us going forward. The reality is, the thoughts and behaviours which served us previously may no longer be useful. It can help if we become curious about what these things are so that we can identify them and seek out the tools and support we need in order to progress.
In the process of pursuing the goal sometimes we discover that the person who would achieve that goal has to be a different person to the person we are today, a person that we do not currently identify with. This requires a shift in how we see ourselves and turn up in the world. This can be a difficult realisation to deal with, and once again, we need to become curious and may also need to summon external resources and support.
We discover something about ourselves that we do not like and we are not willing to go through the pain of facing it in order to come out on the other side and pursue our goal. Sometimes we need to go through the pain of self-knowledge and self-acceptance in order to make progress. This requires courage and resolve.
Developing awareness and curiosity about what is truly stopping us, the real obstacles. If they are physical, do we need to set and interim or different goal first? If they are internal (such as thoughts, feelings and self-talk) – can we identify them and start dealing with them.
Having a support and accountability system is also of vital importance. How do we speak to ourselves when the going gets tough? Who can we share your experience with? Is there someone who would call us out on your excuses, whilst also having empathy? If not, this is a structure that needs to be put in place.
The path to setting and achieving worthy pursuits is a winding path of self-discovery, of uncovering possibilities and shaping our identity along the way.Stagnation is easy.Growth is rewarding but can be painful too.Having a strong purpose, a bold possibility combined with a willingness to know and accept oneself, and a sound plan of execution made up of the tiny consistent steps.